In Ephesians we are told, “husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;” [Eph 5:25] and, in regard to the institution of marriage, Paul writes by The Spirit, “this is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” [Eph 5:32] From this passage we learn that typologically, marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. Jesus alludes to this as well, when He says, in response to a question about why His disciples do not fast as the Pharisees and others,
“Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the Bridegroom is with them? But the days will come, when the Bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.” [Mt 9:15]
And again, when speaking of “the kingdom of heaven,” Jesus said, “while the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.” [Mt 25:5] We can see that Jesus is the Bridegroom, and we, the church, are His bride; and in that glorious day we shall hear “the voice of a great multitude,” [Rev 19:6] saying,
“Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him: for the marriage of The Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of the saints.” [Rev 19:7-8]
Because marriage typifies Jesus and the church, and we have the command, “husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,” then we must explore the life of Jesus Christ, our True Groom, to see how in fact He loved His bride the church, and not only in His death, but all through His life; and not only in His life, but also afterward – for Jesus did not remain dead, but as it is written, “He was taken up; and a cloud received Him out of their sight,” [Acts 1:9] and, “but this man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God.” [Heb 10:12] And if we may take Jesus’ love even further, we must look before His life on earth, for Christ loved us then as well, even before taking upon Himself “the likeness of sinful flesh,” [Rom 8:3] for it is written that God’s love is “an everlasting love.” [Jer 31:3]
We mustn’t merely transform this command in Ephesians into a cliché, love your wife as Jesus did the church, lest it lose its power and effect in our life. Jesus’ love is the most powerful force in all existence; and so, to know and learn of His love, of how He loved and loves the church, is one of the most powerful and useful things a man can do for His marriage: for he has been called to an extremely high standard. One may say, “I think not; I think more power was displayed in creation;” but let us remember that though God through Christ created all things, (as we are told, “all things were made through Him; and without Him was not any thing made that was made.” [Jn 1:3]), yet God, through His word only, may not save a man’s soul, for “without shedding of blood is no forgiveness [of sin];” [Heb 9:23] and so, whereas God created all things by His word only, and whereas He shall “as a vesture…fold them up, and they shall be changed,” making them anew as easily as one changes shirts, [Heb 1:11-12] yet Jesus’ precious blood must needs have been shed in that unspeakable act of love. Therefore, God’s love is strong; the strongest force in existence, for it accomplished the most miraculous feat: the salvation of wicked souls and regeneration of hearts, of which it is written, “the heart is…of a malignant disposition.” [Jer 17:9] What millions upon millions of gallons of blood could never hope to accomplish – the forgiveness of even one, single sin, (for, “it is not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sin.” [Heb 10:4]) – a few ounces of Christ’s “precious blood” did once and for all. [1 Pe 1:19] Christ’s love is strong! If you have thought it weak; if you have thought it unfit to save a soul or change a heart, my good brother, I pray that you would, “be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which is surpassing knowledge.” [Eph 3:18-19]
If we have seen God’s love as supreme, as marvelous, as lofty – high and lifted up – then let us see too, (and fear God!), that we are under an obligation to offer such love to our wives. For it is written, “withhold not good from them to whom it is due when it is in the power of thine hand to do it;” [Prov 3:29] and also, “owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” [Rom 13:8] Seeing that we are indwelt with God’s Spirit, whose fruit is “love,” [Gal 5:22] we are capable, through Him alone, to produce love; and further, seeing that we are under the command to love our wives as Jesus loved, then we do see a fearful command: ”withhold not good from them to whom it is due.” We are under an obligation to offer our wives love: the love of Jesus Christ, and to do them good. Let us therefore take these things seriously, seeking out Christ in His word that we might learn and grow in our love for our wives.
And know this, good man, that without Jesus Christ you can do nothing; as He says, “without me ye can do nothing.” [Jn 15:5] As mere mortal men, we are weak and we are unable. Without Jesus, without His Holy Spirit, without a relationship with Him, we cannot hope to produce His life nor His love. As God says, “not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith The LORD of Hosts.” [Zech 4:6] Therefore we must abide in Christ in deep, genuine, intimate fellowship. We must fervently and passionately, diligently and exceedingly, devote ourselves to Jesus Christ and His word, to fellowship with Him, and to prayer. We must do as we are admonished, “seek The LORD, and His strength: seek His face continually,” [Psa 105:4] so that we might have the strength necessary to accomplish these things and to be good husbands. We must seek Christ out in His word, that we might have any life to give; as Jesus says,
“Then Jesus said unto them, verily, verily, I say unto you, except ye eat the flesh of The Son of Man, and drink His blood, ye have no life in you...He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the Living Father hath sent me, and I live by The Father: so he that eateth me, even He shall live by me.” [Jn 6:53, 56-57]
We must remember also that whereas before marriage, when we were single, it was only us, now we are joined to our wives as one flesh and our decisions will affect them as well. The stakes have been raised, dear husband; be zealous! Strive to love Jesus Christ chiefly above all and to seek Him out, for again, without Him we can do nothing. We must fear God in this, even as it is written, “wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.” [Heb 12:28] And may we so say, having received a marriage from The Lord, let us fear Him and obtain the grace to walk worthy; for as leaders in the church are “as they that must give account,” [Heb 13:17] so too we, as husbands and leaders of our wives, must give account to God in the end as to how we have treated our wives.
May every man who ventures to read this book come away renewed and transformed in their minds. [Rom 12:1-2] May you, dear husband and reader, acquire the mind of Christ as is promised to you, “we have the mind of Christ.” [1 Cor 2:16] May you gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and set your hope upon the glory of Christ which shall be revealed to you through His glorious word, that you might find the grace necessary to love your wife as you should. [1 Pe 1:13] This book shall, by God’s glorious and strong grace, attempt to reveal to you, O husband, the glory of Jesus Christ as our Groom and Husband, so that you might be formed into that image, as we are promised, “but we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of The Lord, are being changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by The Spirit of The Lord.” [2 Cor 3:18]