In Jesus’ greatest time of need, He earnestly sought His Father in prayer. As the things written of Him from long ago were culminating toward that great and dreadful conclusion, where He, The Christ, who did no sin neither was guile found in His mouth, would suffer and die, being reckoned among transgressors, for the sins of mankind. It was leading up to this point, where Jesus travailed in birth in the garden, where, “being in agony He prayed more earnestly: and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground;” [Lk 22:44] and where He,
“Began to be awestruck, and to be very heavy,” and said to His disciples, “my soul is exceedingly sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.” [Mk 14:33-34]
We notice in this moment that though Jesus was “very heavy” and “exceedingly sorrowful unto death;” yet in that state Jesus refused sleep or to distract Himself with other things, even saying to Peter which was one of them who slept,
“Simon, sleepest thou? Couldest not thou watch one hour? Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The Spirit is truly ready, but the flesh is weak.” [Mk 14:37-38]
Despite Jesus’ flesh, despite the afflictions which engulfed Jesus’ heart with sorrow, despite that in this moment the fulness of what He should endure, of that cup, was revealed to Jesus, causing Him to be “awestruck;” yes, despite all these things, Jesus endured in prayer. He refused to give up; instead, He “prayed more earnestly” and struggled with intense resolve that He might be victorious and enter into His glory. He truly modeled that which we are commanded to do: “persevere in prayer,” [Col 4:2] and, “pray without ceasing;” [1 Th 5:17] and, in the most extreme way, proved the teaching which He gave, “that men ought always to pray, and not to faint.” [Lk 18:1]
Our Father has not hidden from us the importance of prayer; it is a most precious and imperative discipline, which we must persevere in. And in the Garden, wherein Jesus prayed so earnestly, all husbands would do well to notice Jesus’ desire for His disciples when He requested, “tarry ye here, and watch with me.” [Mt 26:38] For the marriage, as Paul stated, is a picture of Jesus Christ and His Bride, The Church. Therefore, when we see Jesus’ great desire for fellowship in prayer with His disciples, it instructs us in marriage. Namely, that husbands, who in marriage are typologically in the position of Christ, should call to and request prayer with their wives, especially in times of difficulty. But whether in the midst of affliction or not, fellowshipping with God in prayer, and with each other, is of upmost importance.
A marriage without prayer is a marriage which will not have half the power it ought to or of that which is available to it. When Israel had completed the Babylonian captivity and some were sent back to build the temple which had been destroyed, The LORD spoke to the people and the leaders, describing their then-present condition. He said,
“Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes…Ye looked for much, and, lo, it came to little; and when ye brought it home, I did blow upon it.” [Hag 1:6, 9]
After describing to them their condition, The LORD reveals to them the reason for their ill situation:
“Because of mine house that is waste, and ye run every man unto his own house. Therefore the heaven over you is stayed from dew, and the earth is stayed from her fruit.” [Hag 1:9-10]
Though they had returned to rebuild the temple, after some adversity and opposition, Israel had left off rebuilding and began to build their own houses and to engage in their own affairs. For this, God made their efforts unfruitful and their way hard. They had quickly gone out of the way and were spending their time, energy, and wealth selfishly, instead of doing that which God desired of them. In a similar way, a marriage which lacks prayer is a marriage which will lack fruit and productivity. It will be a marriage, however outwardly beautiful, that is inwardly desperate for power. If our bodies are “the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in [us],” and The Lord desires His temple to “be called the house of prayer,” and through marriage “they twain shall be one flesh,” then we can conclude a marriage devoid of prayer is one that is not pleasing God to the full, nor one that is possessing the fullest extent of God’s grace and power. [1 Cor 6:19, Mt 21:13; 19:5] If we have neglected prayer, today is the day to begin again, just as Israel began again to build the temple after God’s rebukes in Haggai.
As Israel neglected the rearing up of the temple, and therefore that facility where God had ordained prayer, sacrifice, and the worship of Him to take place was absent, thus resulting in a great lack of fruit in Israel, so too is a marriage which lacks God as the center or where there exists no structure to contain such godly practices. But even further, a marriage or man which has the presence of God, and the ability to pray and seek God, by means of The Spirit given to the husband and wife, but which does not, neglecting God in prayer altogether, is as if when Israel had indeed finished the temple, but then failed or neglected to use it, disregarding the sacrifices and the burning of incense. Thus, let us ask ourselves this question: where the structure of Christian fellowship with Jesus and His body has been reared up in the marriage, (there being a great outward show and proof of its existence in churchgoing, righteousness, and other such things), and there is no need to build the temple as it were, is there a use and practice of prayer? Do you, dear husband, take advantage of those graces given to you of The Lord, in constant and frequent prayer with your wife? The temple being built, the marriage being given to Christ and husband and wife being saved, is there yet the use of those facilities of prayer? Is there a great taking advantage of those graces and mercies so readily offered by God in the practice of prayer and intimate fellowship with Christ? And if there is not – if there is no fellowship of prayer with the wife in your marriage – why not? Jesus desires His temple to be a house of prayer; therefore, pray. A marriage void of regular prayer will be a marriage void of regular strength.
If our lives and marriages have lacked prayer, “behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation;” [2 Cor 6:2] today is the day to be revived and pray, and to live as Jesus lived. Even as Hezekiah did, who before the great revival in his day, “opened the doors of the house of The LORD, and repaired them,” [2 Ch 29:3] saying to the priests,
“For our fathers have trespassed, and done that which was evil in the eyes of The LORD our God, and have forsaken Him, and have turned away their faces from the habitation of The LORD, and turn their backs. Also they have shut up the doors of the porch, and put out the lamps, and have not burned incense nor offered burnt offerings in the holy place unto the God of Israel. Wherefore the wrath of The LORD was upon Judah and Jerusalem, and He hath delivered them to trouble, to astonishment, and to hissing, as ye see with your eyes.” [2 Ch 29:6-8]
In like manner, we must open the doors to God’s presence back up and approach Him in prayer. Not just personally, but also alongside and with our wives, leading them as a husband should. This is proper and good, a thing that shall bless the marriage and keep it strong. Whether we are in affliction or blessed and at ease, it is necessary for us to keep those doors to God open, often approaching Him and offering up sweet-smelling prayers, supplications, and intercessions; for this practice shall bring to the marriage the fulness of its blessing and strength, whereas its lack and absence will diminish such.