In the Gospel of John, Jesus gives His disciples, and us, a very important command. In his epistle, John names this both “an old commandment which ye had from the beginning,” and, “a new commandment.” [1 Jn 2:7-8] The reasoning he gives is, “because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth.” [1 Jn 2:8] That is, this commandment, which from Jesus’ mouth is, “a new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another,” [Jn 13:34] is both new and old. It is old because loving each other is not a new concept; even as far back as Leviticus this is present, where The LORD said, “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” [Lev 19:18] And yet, it is new because Jesus expanded upon the command, saying, “as I have loved you.” The love that Jesus exemplified in His life was never before seen: it was new; yes, and still is new. For though we have had the command to love one another given to us of old, yet in Christ Jesus the command takes on a completely new light, for He told us to love each other “as I have loved you.” When Jesus gave this command, He had not yet died; and so, we see that in the immediate context, Jesus’ command to His disciples would have clearly been referencing His life on earth, wherein He gave every ounce of Himself to His disciples and to us. This pattern was also an example to Paul, who said he was ”being poured out as a drink offering” for the saints. [Phil 2:17]
Regarding Jesus’ love, John says, “He loved them unto the end.” [Jn 13:1] Jesus did not just lay His life down for us in His final moments through the cross, but every day for the entirety of His life. For if true love “seeketh not her own,” [1 Cor 13:5] and “God is love,” [1 Jn 4:8] and Jesus boldly said “he that hath seen me hath seen The Father,” [Jn 14:9] then surely we can rightly conclude for all of Jesus’ life, whether “in season, [or] out of season,” [2 Tim 4:2] Jesus laid His life down and loved His disciples and us. John writes,
“Hereby perceive we love, because [Jesus] laid down His life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” [1 Jn 3:16-18]
Notice that we are being encouraged, from the fact that Jesus laid His life down for us, to daily make a habit of providing tangible needs for our brethren. And in this, John shows us what it means to lay our lives down for the brethren as Jesus laid His life down for us. It does not just mean death, as Jesus died upon the cross, but a giving up of ourselves in daily living, as Jesus showed us through His life on earth. Again, we can see Paul drawing this conclusion when He writes by The Spirit, encouraging us by Christ’s love and example,
“I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of The Lord Jesus, how He said, ‘it is more blessed to give than to receive.’” [Acts 20:35]
And,
“For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: and that He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again.” [2 Cor 5:14-15]
Jesus testified to this love and to this purpose of His life in Matthew, saying, “even as The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many.” [Mt 20:28] Jesus came to earth, emptying Himself and taking upon Himself the likeness of sinful flesh, to minister to us, to serve us. He did not come as a pompous king to be served of his peasantry, but He humbled Himself and stepped down into our suffering, to suffer alongside of us and to serve us, to rescue us. Speaking of this humbling, Psalms says,
“Who is like unto The LORD our God, who dwelleth on high, who humbleth Himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth! He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the needy out of the dunghill; that He may set him with princes, even with the princes of His people.” [Psa 113:5-8]
The LORD did not sit high in heaven careless, but having compassion toward us, pitied us and came down to help us. In marriage, the husband’s role is similar: he is to give up his life in service to his wife. As Jesus, king over all, as supreme authority, humbled Himself and stripped Himself of royalty as it were, to lower Himself to serve us, even so far as to “was the disciple’s feet,” [f.f., Jn 13:5] so too we as husbands are to lower ourselves and serve our wives. We are to give our lives up in daily, tangible acts of love for them. We are to deny ourselves and to seek to serve them and love them, not just in word, but in deed and truth. We should be careful to remember Ephesians commands husbands to give up their own lives for the sake of their wives, saying, “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it,” and not to give up their wives’ lives. Though the wife is the support and help for a husband, yet in Christ-like manner that husband should serve his wife, laying down his own privileges, wants, and desires for her sake, and not the other way around.
And let us remember too that Jesus, “loved them unto the end;” and in like-manner husbands are to endure in this service for their wives, until the very end, not being married “to be ministered unto, but to minister [to their wives], and to give [their] life a ransom [for them].” [Mt 20:28]