It would be logical according to this world, for a husband to say, “I have power over my own body; it is mine; it belongs to me, and I do with it as I see fit.” However, this would be according to the world, according to that wisdom which “descendeth not from above, but is earthly, natural/soulish, [and] demonic,” [Jam 3:15] and most assuredly not according to that wisdom “that is from above,” which says in stark contrast to this world, “the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” [1 Cor 7:4] Whether it is in regard to sexual activity within the marriage, as Paul wrote in context, or of other things regarding the body: we are told, as husbands, that we no longer have free reign over our bodies. No longer are our bodies our own; for it is written, “and they two shall be one flesh,” and, “they are no more twain, but one flesh.” [Eph 5:31, Mt 19:6] So then, the husband and wife, have been made one. There is no longer a distinction between the two, but they have been made one, fused together by God Himself. We do then read from Ephesians, Paul’s exhortation to the husband,
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, he that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh: but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as The Lord the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.” [Eph 5:28-30]
Seeing that Paul says marriage ultimately speaks of “Christ and the church,” [Eph 5:32] let us remember what Jesus said to Saul before his conversion,
“Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the goads.” [Acts 9:4-5]
Notice here that Jesus applies Saul’s (later known as Paul) persecution to Himself when He says, “I am Jesus whom thou persecutest.” Jesus directly attributes the persecution and affliction imparted to Christians to Himself. Though Jesus dwells bodily in heaven, yet those things which happen to His body in essence happen to Him, “for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.” [Eph 5:30] The same concept appears in the Old Testament. The prophet, speaking of The LORD, writes, “in all their affliction He was afflicted;” [Isa 63:9] and, “I know their sorrows;” [Ex 3:7] and once more, “he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of His eye.” [Zech 2:8] From this we can take great encouragement: our Savior and Shepherd, Jesus, takes great care for us, “for He careth for you.” [1 Pe 5:7] Jesus is not ignorant of our pains or afflictions, but feels them alongside us, we being members of His body.
In the same way, the wife is apart of the husband’s body. In fact, as we have seen already, they have been made into one flesh, so that they are no longer two distinct entities but one. Therefore, just as Jesus cares for us, cherishing and nourishing us, so too we ought to do toward our wives. If something happens to her body, it must also happen to our bodies; if she is in a great deal of distress, though it seem small, yet we must esteem that thing to also be touching our own flesh: for her body is ours and our body is hers. The husband is required to love and to cherish the wife’s body just as his own, for “he that loveth his wife loveth himself.” [Eph 5:28] If the wife is experiencing pain or illness or any such thing, the husband must respond in kind, as he would to himself.
In addition to these thoughts, we must also discipline our own bodies. That is, to die to ourselves and to pursue a righteous life; as Paul says, “yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.” [Rom 6:13] For if the wife and the husband have been joined as one and now mystically share the same body, then those things which we do as husbands, though we think them to be private, will indeed affect our wives. Remember what is written regarding fornication in Paul’s epistle,
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid…For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” [1 Cor 6:15, 20]
We are called, as members of Christ’s body, to abstain from spiritual fornication. Truly, we are called to abstain from all manner of sinful living, for we are members of His body, and as it is written, “a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.” [1 Cor 5:6] Similarly, the husband must abstain from all manner of sinful activity, yielding His body in such a fashion as to benefit the wife, for since they are now one flesh, those things which he does shall surely affect the wife, for again God says, “whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” [Gal 6:7]
As husbands, we are called to a very high standard, the standard of Christ Himself. When we study the life of Christ and all His glory, we can more accurately determine how we are to behave toward our wives and how we are to treat them. And to those who enjoin themselves to such a cause, to study and search out Christ’s glory, they shall ever find an increasing and breathtaking beauty, one that provokes them to act towards the wife of their youth with an ever-increasing devotion, love, and tenderness.
We’ll said my brother. Praise and glory to His name!