There came a time in the Prophet Jeremiah’s life where The LORD said, “arise, and go down to the potter’s house.” [Jer 18:2] There was something there at the potter’s house which Jeremiah ought to have seen; a sight which the LORD would have us to see as well, for as husbands, we too have been called by God “down to the potter’s house” as it were, to the workshop of marriage. Over two thousand years ago Jeremiah obeyed, and what he saw he wrote:
“Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.” [Jer 18:3-4]
The LORD interprets for Jeremiah, and for us,
“Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.” [Jer 18:5-6]
The interpretation is this: we are but softened, clay pots in our Heavenly Father’s hands; He, as our Creator, may do as He pleases. God owns us, and we are His; for we read in Psalms, “the earth is the LORD’s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” [Psa 24:1] And if He owns us, then we would do well to take heed to Jesus, through whom all things were created [Col 1:16, Jn 1:1-3], who says, in a parable regarding Himself as Master and Judge, “is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?” [Mt 20:15] So it is clear then that The LORD is sovereign over us, for again we read, “The LORD hath made all things for Himself,” [Prov 16:4] and again, In Isaiah it says, “but now, O LORD, thou art our Father; we are the clay, and thou our Potter; and we are all the work of Thy hand.” [Isa 64:8]
As men, all of us were once unmarried. Even in that state we were being formed of God, though we knew not what that end product would be. This process of forming is given to each one who belongs to God. Though sometimes different than God’s, we have all had our own aspirations and desires, our own thoughts of what should be or what should not be. But alas, in the end God always has the final say. And as it goes sometimes with the clay by the hands of the potter, so too for that man, who stirred up by God, decides to “leave his father and his mother,” that he might “cleave unto his wife;” [Gen 2:24] for that man, formerly a vessel formed for singleness, now begins to be molded and formed into an altogether different vessel. A man, having left his father and mother, and now creating a separate family entity with his wife, begins to enter into that process by which God, in all His tender wisdom and love, forms that man into a more robust image of Christ and His bride, the Church. It is not always a comfortable process. The Potter takes a new lump and joins it with the man, the clay pot, rotating and spinning, carving and removing, creating an image pleasing to Himself.
We may think at times, when our gracious Potter changes our shape and determines to make us into a vessel we had not previously envisioned, that He has made a mistake, or that this new vessel isn’t nearly as good as it once was. We may be tempted yet to say, “what is the cause that the former days were better than these?” But truly, as Solomon warns, we ought not to say this, “for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this.” [Ecc 7:10] Rather than looking with dismay at what God is creating, let us rejoice in the work of our God, who guides us “by the skilfulness of His hands;” [Psa 78:72] for “the heavens are the work of [His] hands,” and surely, He knows what He is doing, having created such glorious heavens. [Psa 102:25] Shall we then say to our God and Potter, “he hath no hands?” God forbid; as Isaiah says, “woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth, what makest thou?” [Isa 45:9] See then, that though the vessel we are being formed into is now different than what it was before, yet it is still a good vessel; in fact, it is better, and as Solomon’s temple was torn down and regarding its replacement God said, “the glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former,” so too it shall be with a marriage which is being formed by God. [Hag 2:9]
Let the husband not say, “why was it better when I was single?” For he does not speak wisely in this thing. Let us submit to our Lord, to His hands, and see that the vessel He is creating is far better and grander than before, for at the very least, He has now more material to work with, us having been now joined to a wife as one flesh. Again, let us “allow patience [to] have her perfect work, that [we] may be perfect and entire, lacking nothing.” [Jam 1:4] God is at work in marriage, using it as a tool to form us. Let us be malleable in His hands, not kicking or fretting, but allowing Him space to work. For in His own good timing that perfect image of Christ and His bride will appear.