In the First Epistle of Peter, the husband is given instruction in order that his “prayers be not cut off.” [1 Pe 3:7] This immediately reveals to the husband that his prayers can indeed be cut off; in context, this blockade is accomplished by failing to exemplify Jesus’ example of suffering in regard to His wife.
First Peter chapter three, verses one through twelve address wives, husbands, and then everyone: each of the sections directs the addressee’s attention back to the foundational principle established in Jesus’ life: mainly, that Jesus suffered evil for no fault of His own, and yet, He suffered through it patiently, committing the situation to God, the righteous judge. It is therefore most relevant, upon seeing the phrase, “likewise, ye husbands,” in 1 Peter 3:7, to retreat back to the main example given: that of our Gracious and Patient King, Jesus, so that we might properly understand all that a husband is to be, in order that his “prayers be not cut off.”
Peter starts off by talking to servants; he says, “be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.” [1 Pe 2:18] We are, as we shall be reminded is how Christ lived and died, to be obedient and longsuffering, not only to those who treat us well, but also to those who treat us ill. Peter explains,
“For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.” [1 Pe 2:19-20]
Peter tells us frankly that only those men who persevere through mistreatment are worthy of thanksgiving; he says, “this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.” It is not the man who is only able to bear patiently through the punishments inflicted upon himself by his own doing who shall be worthy of thanks and commendation; no, that man shall not be worthy of one word of welldoing from his lord; it is only that man, who like Christ, when during His passion, “they spit in His face, and buffeted Him; and others smote Him with the palms of their hands,” [Mat 26:67] endures patiently without complaint, who shall be worthy of thanksgiving and praise: for he says to us, “this is acceptable with God.” Truly, Peter would know this well. For when the Romans and the Pharisees were bludgeoning Christ’s face with their dogged hands, even to the point where He was unrecognizable as a human, Peter watched from a fire of coals, denying Him; and it was at that point, the rooster having crowed, when, “the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of The Lord, and how He had said unto him, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.” [Lk 22:61-62] And so, truly with this very event in mind, Peter recounts to us for our example, Jesus’ righteousness, saying,
“For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.” [1 Pe 2:21-24]
When we observe the sufferings of Jesus, in particular their brutality and how no part of them was deserved, Jesus having willingly subjected Himself to that suffering on our account, for our sinful rebellion against God, even as enemies of God, it lowers our suffering, no matter how severe it may seem at present, to a more proportionate level. For through meditating on Jesus’ sufferings, we see just how little we, in comparison, have suffered. And also, how that Jesus “did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth,” but who was, in that moment on the cross and beforehand, bearing our sins and dying for our sakes, for “by [His] stripes [we are] healed.” And this is also what the writer of Hebrews tells us, who exhorts us, “attentively consider Him that endured such hostility of sinners against Himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your souls.” [Heb 12:3]
This truth is the very foundation to what Peter tells wives and husbands. Jesus’ life is always to be our foundation, “for other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” [1 Cor 3:11] And so, with that in mind, noting that the “likewise” points back to Christ, and not to the wives (for their instruction also begins with “likewise” [1 Pe 3:1]), Peter says to husbands,
“Likewise, ye husbands, live in wedlock according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being joint-heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers be not cut off.” [1 Pe 3:7]
As a husband and an “heir of God through Christ,” [Gal 4:7] we are to, “be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus,” and to therein “endure affliction, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ;” [2 Tim 2:1, 3] because we are told, “[it is] through much tribulation [that we shall] enter into the kingdom of God.” [Acts 14:22] This does not exclude marriage; in fact, it is a most poignant aspect of marriage, that we shall within it endure suffering. Now, this should be no matter, for we were told previously of Paul, if we did well to take heed, “such [as are married] shall have trouble in the flesh.” [1 Cor 7:28] Even though trouble shall come to us at the hand of our spouse, whether it is intentional or not, we are to take Jesus’ example as our model. The one who did no evil, but suffered the most extreme pain, both physically and spiritually, “while we were yet sinners” and “without strength,” is our supreme example; and if He is indeed our Lord we will seek to obey Him and maintain a clean conscience in this regard. Before exploring verse seven, we may do well to listen to Peter’s admonition to all parties in the verses proceeding seven, when he says,
“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him turn from evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.” [1 Pe 3:10-12]
What Peter commands here is especially relevant for husbands, when we observe the phrase in verse twelve, “His ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.” This is very similar to the language used in verse seven, which sternly warns husbands to treat their wives with due respect, lest God cut off their prayers from His ears and cease altogether to listen to them. Therefore, in application, we as husbands are to, in respect to our wives, refrain our tongues from evil speaking and to seek peace. When our wives say an undue word, we are to remember in that instant what Christ did for His bride, the church, and how He suffered so dearly; we are to die to ourselves, to bridle that furious tongue which is “set on fire of hell;” [Jas 3:6] and we are to remember our wives are weaker than us, honoring them as precious and fragile jewels, for even we ourselves know that we have said many undue words to our Groom, Christ Jesus. This will not only delight our wives and be to them an example of Jesus, but it will also increase the quality of our own lives; for remember what Peter said in verse ten, “he that will love life, and see good days.” See then, that to treat our wives in such a manner, is not only kind and tender for them, but also for us, who for putting to death the deeds of the body, shall receive as a reward God’s tender gaze and open ear. To repay our wives, or anyone, in such a Christ-like fashion, in exchange for harsh words or harmful actions, will no doubt result in a blessing. Not only the blessing of God’s open ear and ready Spirit, but also blessing in general; for Peter directs us not to render “evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” [1 Pe 3:9] Though suffering wrongfully is not enjoyable, yet therein God has reserved a blessing for those who endure it like Jesus did; and so, we, as husbands, when on the receiving end of harsh words or actions, can look at the situation with God’s word as our filter, seeing it not as a curse but a blessing; for Paul regards affliction as a gift, saying, “for unto you it is [graciously] given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for His sake.” [Phil 1:29]
In addition to a husband’s speech toward His wife, we are to “live in wedlock according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being joint-heirs of the grace of life.” The word used here for “knowledge” is specifically the knowledge one gains from applying knowledge. It is the knowledge gained when one applies something formerly only known in word; and so through applying, they come to know the truth of that thing more deeply, having practiced what they have learned. Therefore, we could call this type of knowledge experience, just as we call a tradesman who has practiced what school has taught him, experienced. Here, Peter shows us that keeping in mind our wives are the weaker vessel, we are to live with them according to our experience, according to the knowledge we have gained through practice. Through practice and application of knowledge, of God’s word, we come to learn what our wives can sustain and what they cannot, though never breaking God’s word; we come to see what lifestyles are suitable for a peaceful and prosperous marriage and which are not. With the foundation of Christ and the guide of His word, we, according to this type of knowledge, must dwell with our wives – being careful to keep in remembrance they are the weaker vessel, and as Paul says, “husbands, love your wives, and do not grow harsh/angry toward them.” [Col 3:19]
In summary, we must dwell with our wives as Christ dwells with us; He who is strong above all, seated on His throne, glorious in splendor, who often, if we are careful to admit it, is tender and merciful toward us in our faults and sins. Therefore, with Jesus as our example, let us live in wedlock with our brides, our companions, with softness and affection, for they are the weaker vessel and we do never have the authority to treat them harshly.