When speaking about the Pharisees to His disciples Jesus said, “All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.” [Mt 23:3] The Pharisees were very keen to lay burdens upon the shoulders of men, but as Jesus pointed out, “they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.” [Mt 23:4b] Therefore, Jesus said to respect their position but not to follow their example. This is in stark contrast to what Jesus commanded regarding Himself, often exhorting others, “follow me.” [Mt 4:19; 8:22; 9:9; 16:24] Jesus was very unlike the Pharisees; Jesus never commanded something for us to do, which He was unwilling to do Himself.
For example, in Matthew, Jesus spoke and said, “and whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven Him…” [Mt 12:32] These was not just nice-sounding words with no works to back them up. Jesus proved that He meant this most graphically upon the cross.
In Mark we read the words of one of the thieves hanging beside Christ; in fact, it is the thief which Luke documents soon-after repenting and being invited by Jesus into heaven. The thief is recorded saying to Jesus, “Let Christ the King of Israel descend now from the cross, that we may see and believe. And they that were crucified with him reviled him.” [Mk 15:32] We see that both of the men beside Jesus “reviled Him.” We see a very great truth here, which shows us Jesus’ glory, and gives to us clear instruction, which is revealed in Jesus’ words to the same thief that reviled Him, when he later said, “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.” [Lk 23:43] Jesus proved in this moment that He was not just a teacher but a doer. As James tells us, “but be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” [Jam 1:22] Truly, Jesus meant what He said and was willing to be an example to His disciples, and to us, of what those words truly meant, when He said, “whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven Him.”
Dwell upon this truth and imagine the situation, which was very real and not at all easy. When Jesus was suffering the greatest, in extreme amounts of pain, when He was being mocked and ridiculed and lambasted at every side; in His greatest time of need, when no one was there to help Him, not even His Father in Heaven (for He had forsaken Him), then it was at this moment Jesus was tested so severely in this manner. For the thief next to Him who harshly reviled Him in His greatest hour of need moments ago, when He was dying for all the sins of mankind, said to Him, now requesting the greatest amount of mercy, “Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.” [Lk 23:42] And Jesus, did not respond back with evil words or reviling; but, in a matter so holy and foreign to man, said “today shalt thou be with me in paradise.” [Lk 23:43] This is a glorious truth. It shows us the incredible forgiveness and pity Jesus possesses. But it also reveals to us something very important about marriage.
In marriage, our spouse will undoubtedly speak words against us. There will, eventually, be arguments and harsh words exchanged. It is almost inevitable. The question, then, is not if the words will come, but what the response will be when they come. Let us be like Christ, of whom the husband should be an example, and settle it in our hearts currently to forgive any word spoken against us, as He spoke of Himself. Just like Jesus said whoever speaks a word against The Son of Man shall be forgiven, may we replace “The Son of Man” for our own names and speak that truth wholeheartedly. Through the strength of abiding in God’s word we can do this; for in Psalms we are told, “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” [Psa 119:165]
By God’s grace received through prayer and meditation upon Jesus’ glory, even as seen here in His interaction with the thief, we may be granted the power to overcome in this area. Yes, by His grace we can determine to forgive our spouse for any word spoken against us, for Jesus did when people spoke against Him. And as it is written in Peter, so it is true,
“For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully…For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed it to him that judgeth righteously.” [1 Pe 2:19; 21-23]